


Six Months Later

by gayneku



Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Game(s), no spoilers for final mix stuff though just the base storyline, so dont read unless youve finished the game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-07 03:43:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18612427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayneku/pseuds/gayneku
Summary: Just when Neku is finally ready to move on and let go, Joshua comes back. Because of course he would wait until the last possible moment before showing his face again, the asshole.





	Six Months Later

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first thing ive actually finished in like six months please be nice
> 
> this fic does include some discussion of suicidal thoughts, so if thats something that would bother you, probably stop reading now

It's been nearly half a year since the end of the long Game. Things have, more or less, returned to normal. The only difference is… well. You. You're not alone anymore. You've been texting the others daily, and meeting up with them nearly every chance you get - for the first few months it was weekly, at Hachiko, but school got in the way and the meeting places changed and now you just meet whenever all of you are free, and wherever is closest. You haven’t met up with them at the statue for a month, at least.

And if you still visit Hachiko every week by yourself, waiting for someone who never shows up, well… they don't have to know about it.

You know the comparison is obvious. You, waiting for Joshua next to the statue of a dog who died doing the same. You should give up and move on, you should accept that he doesn’t give a shit about you, that you were only ever just a pawn, nothing more. And you would, probably, but…

You’re not dead.

You lost the last Game. That’s undeniable. The rules were very, very simple. Whoever shot first, won, and you hadn’t shot first. You hadn’t shot at all. Rhyme, in her Noise form, had been Beat’s entry fee, and Beat and Shiki both had won every game they’d played, so they and _only_ they had had the right to come back to life.

And yet, all four of you had woken up, alive and fully human. In Shibuya, which was very much not destroyed.

That had to mean _something,_ right?

But he still doesn’t show, and doesn’t show, and doesn’t show, for months on end until you’re just about ready to give up. You miss him, against your better judgement, but you know you can’t waste the rest of your life on someone you might never see again.

* * *

 

It’s different this time.

It was the last time you were going to visit Hachiko - for this purpose, anyway - but that’s not what’s different. It’s something in the air. You felt it the moment the statue came into view. It’s like there’s electricity everywhere, like the whole world is frozen and _waiting_ for something.

You see him then, and you freeze, too.

He hasn’t turned to face you, not yet, but the part of your brain that’s still somehow working knows he _must_ know you’re there. Did he decide to show up today, of all days, because he knew it would have been the last time? That would be just like him, the ass.

He looks over at you, and time starts moving once again. You’re standing in front of him almost before you realize it, and in the next breath he’s on the ground, clutching his face and wincing.

“Where the HELL have you been?” you say. It would probably be a bit more intimidating if your voice hadn’t cracked halfway through. He blinks up at you slowly and in spite of the situation you take a moment to feel smug about surprising him, for once.

“Why don’t we go somewhere a little more private?” he teases, and you don’t _say_ anything but you think very loudly in his direction that you’ve changed your mind, you didn’t miss him one bit. He must have heard it, because his expression turns serious. “Really, though, I’m not even supposed to be in the RG. You’re the only one who can see me right now, and as much as I love watching you make a fool of yourself talking to thin air…”

You look around. Sure enough, several people are staring at you. You consider punching him again - he couldn’t have mentioned this _sooner?_ \- but you don’t want to look any more ridiculous than you already do.

“Fine,” you hiss through your teeth. “Where did you have in mind?”

He stands up and smirks, and with that it’s almost like he was never gone. Something falls into place, and you know, you _know_ it’s something you should never have missed in the first place. You shouldn’t be _relieved_ to see him after everything he did and all the lies he told, but. Somehow, you can’t really bring yourself to care, not when everything feels right for the first time in six months.

He takes your hand and one moment you’re _here_ and the next you’re _there_ and you double over trying to fight down the nausea. It takes you maybe a full minute, maybe more, to actually realize where you are - but when you do, you shoot upright, shaking your hand free from Joshua’s grip and backing away. It’s the Room of Reckoning, the place you last saw him, and you feel sick in a completely different way now. It’s been months but you can still almost hear his voice telling you the rules of the final Game, telling you that you’re fighting for _every single person in Shibuya_ , you can feel the horror of having to make an impossible choice, you can feel-

You make a fist and dig your nails into the palm of your hand, dragging you back to the present. You’re not back there. You don’t have to make that choice. Shibuya is fine, your friends are alive, and Joshua is - Joshua is right here.

You turn to give yourself proof and you see him standing behind you and he’s holding a gun and what the fuck, what the fuck, what the _fuck._ By the time you process the fact that he wasn’t actually aiming it at you, you’ve already grabbed it away and knocked him to the ground. Again. You almost feel bad about the punch, but in your defense, if he wanted to hold a gun _without_ getting decked, he should’ve taken you _literally anywhere but here._ Well, here and Udagawa.

“Josh, what the _hell_ are you doing _,_ ” you say.

He laughs sharply, shifting until he’s on his knees facing you. He reaches out and your mind is screaming at you to run away, move, do _something,_ but you’re frozen as he takes the gun and takes your hand and guides them both until the gun is in your hand and pressed against his forehead.

_What the fuck._

He doesn’t answer, doesn’t even say a word. Your hand is shaking and you want to drop the gun but you’re still frozen, barely even able to breathe. Is this supposed to be another Game? A continuation of the last one? But you _lost._ That Game is long over. Is it a reenactment? He’s not even holding a gun of his own. A test? You wouldn’t put it past him. But why? Why would he show up after complete radio silence for six months, just to make you point a gun at him yet again?

It’s then that you feel a whisper in your mind, a suggestion to just… pull the trigger. It would be so easy, and wouldn't it be fair payback anyway, after what he did to you? Doesn’t he deserve it?

Too bad for him you know exactly what imprinting feels like. You fight the feeling with all your strength, throwing the gun away as hard as you can manage. He looks up at you, and though his expression barely changes from its usual self satisfied smirk, you know him well enough to tell how shocked he is.

“ _Why,_ ” he asks. “Why didn’t you kill me?”

And… does he really not know? You thought he did. Of course he would, scanning you would be easy and you _really_ doubted he’d have a moral problem with it, so why wouldn't he know? But apparently you were wrong.

“I don't want to kill you,” you tell him, trying desperately to make him feel the truth of it. “Joshua, _I don't want you to die_.”

“Why?” he asks again, softer this time. Soft in a way you didn't know his voice was capable of being. “I hurt you. I _killed_ you. I lied to you and put you through three weeks of hell. You’re not under pressure now, you’ve had the time to think about all the things I did. Why wouldn't you want me dead?”

The answer comes so easily to you, you barely have to think about it. “You're my friend.” And then, because it's infinitely more complicated than those words can convey, “Don't get me wrong, I'm still mad. The Reaper’s Game _was_ hell. I'm still fucked up from it, I probably will be for years. But… I can't hate you for it. If it hadn't happened, I wouldn't have changed. I'd still be an asshole, and alone. I wouldn't have met Shiki, and Beat, and Rhyme, and… and you. So. I’m definitely not _grateful,_ but in the end, I think it's close enough to a fair trade. Now. I've answered your question. My turn. Josh… why did you want me to kill you?”

His head jerks up and he stares at you, eyes wide - and then his whole face closes off, the smirk falling back into place so quickly it gives you whiplash.

“Who said I _wanted_ you to kill me? It was a Game. I got bored, I wanted to see what you’d do. And you didn't, anyway, so what does it matter?”

You don't believe him for a second. It’s a shit excuse and you’re pretty sure he knows it. “ _Bullshit._ You can’t say that and expect me to accept it, Joshua, you were fucking _imprinting_ it on me. Why?”

He laughs at that, but it’s not a happy laugh, or condescending like usual. He sounds bitter, if anything. He sounds like he’s admitting defeat.

And then he talks.

He tells you about when he was alive. About his parents, who barely acknowledged his existence. His classmates, who laughed and called him names for seeing things that, to them, weren't there. Mr. H, the one person who believed him, who told him about the Game, and who, unintentionally, gave him the idea in the first place. (You try to resent the man for it, but you can't. It wasn't his fault, not really. The rest of them, though? Anger comes easily.)

And he tells you about how being the Composer was nothing like he'd expected. How only those in the UG knew he even existed, and of those, only a handful knew who he really was. How the job was infinitely lonelier than he'd imagined.

He tells you about the last six months, too. He’d been relegated to the UG, barely even allowed to leave the River, not allowed to speak to _anyone_ except for Mr. H and Kariya, who was acting as Conductor until the Higher Ups could pick a new one. There was that, too. Joshua wasn’t going to be allowed to pick his next Conductor. He doesn’t have to explain that one for you to get it - the chance of them choosing someone he can even get along with at all is next to nothing.

He tells you that he isn’t even supposed to be in contact with you right now, but he’d thought it wouldn’t matter since he’d be dead by the end of this anyway. He’ll probably get in trouble later, and you feel a bit guilty for that, but you’d much rather he be in trouble than - what he’d been planning on.

At some point during his speech you collapse onto the ground and pull him close into what is probably the most awkward attempt at a hug you’ve ever had. He doesn’t reciprocate, but he doesn’t push you away, either, so you count it as a win.

When he’s quiet for a moment, you ask why you, and he tells you out of everyone he knows you’re the only one he would trust to be the next Composer. You’d probably be flattered if it weren’t for… literally everything else about the situation. You ask him if he really came to see you after so long just to get you to kill him and he nods, his forehead brushing against your shoulder. You ask _why._ He tells you everyone has a breaking point. You can tell there’s a story there, and part of you wants to ask what could possibly have pushed him that far. It’s pretty clear he doesn’t want to talk about it, though, and you don’t want to force him when he’s finally being honest with you of his own will.

Even without an explicit reason, it hurts, the thought that he wanted to die. That he wanted you to kill him. That he thought you would be _willing_ to kill him. You don’t say any of that - you don’t want him to feel guilty - but you tell him again that you don’t want him to die. He nods again, and shuffles a bit closer to get into a more comfortable position for the both of you.

It seems like he’s out of things to say, and you’re out of questions. So you tell him, over and over, as much as he needs to hear it, that he’s not alone anymore. He never will be again, if you have anything to say about it. And the whole time you keep your arms wrapped tightly around him and refuse to let go. He’ll still be in trouble at the end of this, you know, and you’re just a human. An ex-Player. There’s probably nothing you can do to make his situation any better. But you’re determined to not let today be the last time you see him. The Higher Ups can suck it. You’re not going to let them stop you. You won’t let him be alone, you tell him, and you put all your heart into the words.

He still doesn’t hug you back, but he brings his hands up and clutches at your shirt. The two of you sit there, unaware of time passing, in a massive room that’s completely empty but for you. You promise him no matter what they do to him, you’ll find him, and you don’t let go, and you don’t let go, and you don’t let go.

He won't allow himself to cry, you know, but you hold him anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading! kudos and comments are always appreciated. if you want to say hi, im on tumblr at autisticesper


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